The weird truth why people hate you is that they are busy counting your blessings one by one.
You have a high profile functioning as a Doctor, solicitor, teacher, Nurse, actor, social worker, musician, sports person, architecture, engineer etc.
You have done very well academically.
You dress appropriately for every event office, cocktail, outdoor leisure time, dinner outings and just fun time with friends.
You have a nice house that you built or bought through your hard work.
You have a car that is well maintained.
You live in a upper class residential areas.
You have a partner who loves you all seasons and is not ashamed of your changing looks.
You have a partner who appreciate your hard work and never takes an advantage of your achievements but takes pride showing the public your deserve it.
You have better in laws who relate to you like your own siblings.
You have beautiful kids when they are in public never let you down, and they respect people of all age group.
Your kids do very well at school you don’t tell them when it’s time for home or play time.
Your children cares for you, they help you with daily routines and show you things that may be too complicated to understand. They remind you to be safe all the time and check on you on regular on basis. They tell you they love you everyday.
You are caring, kind and loving to everyone and so you have good circles.
You have a trustworthy friend who is there for you in every season.
You have vibrant skills in; designing clothes, building, electrical, sewing, fitness instructor, cookery, painting, hairdressing, make-up and beauty, fashion designer, any DIY you are super good.
You talk less and avoids drama.
You love taking walks or a run with your partner and good friends rather than low key basic chats.
You live abroad, your lifestyle has changed over a period of time, living with people from different backgrounds is hard, in order to live in harmony with everybody you got to train yourself how to keep to yourself. However, when you return to your native country no one understands but pick you, pick you like you are from another world.
You are in a relationship with a foreign person nothing impresses a humakind.
You eat clean and avoid too much intake of calories people think you showing off.
You travel alot it’s just your hobby more like any other e.g gardening, listening to music, watching Telly, reading, hiking, yoga, dancing etc
Sometimes you are only minding your own business it kills someone.
Don’t put your mind to it, God loves you just the way you are.
Hey guys am back again with a more sensitive blog post. As you can see from the title, yes please am begging you West African Men leave Zambian girls alone. Make sure you read this story to the end. Don’t crucify me with hurtful comments.
The reason I feel our West African brothers must lay off their fingers on our girls is that.
We are from different parts of Africa you might say nonsense! YES true that is let me explain, Africa is a beautiful continent divided in several countries, we are totally different despite same colour skin tone, we have different cultures in every aspect of life, food how we dine, dress code apart from Western borrowed 🤣🤣, businesses, parties, weddings, just to mention a few however, these difference can carry an impact in a lifestyle. Zambian people by nature are cooler with low tone voices, they are a lay back culture, very small population but very very happy people to be with, everywhere you meet a Zambian you will be at peace and safe. Because of their natural coolness they less disagree and little argumentative. So for instance if they met a West African man and the relationship kicks off into marriage things will be OK in the few days of a relationship, fast forward to when they have their children, men often want to settle in their countries rather than Zambia, they want their children to grow up with the man’s culture other than the wife, leaving this poor Zambian girl alone and miserable, it is a sad situation.
If I remember very well in the late 90s men from West Africa dominated my country Zambia, then there was this doggy business of mining minerals illegally, they flocked into my country like swams, three quarters of every single and married woman in town was lured into these guys fake enchanting way of life with doggy money and expensive gold. Marriages were broken young girls were taken hostage into their countries and returned home with nothing if luck to be alive. Some crossed borders and found themselves in brothels travel documents where confiscated from them and never returned home to their loved ones.
This blog is just to highlight some of the problems my fellow Zambian girls faced and still facing today. To all Zambian girls not all that glitters is Gold, stick to what will give you peace and joy, less drama and respectful.
Sometimes we come across people who we only meet via social media, we become friends just from exchanging comments we build something special and we can not just live without each other, certain friendship will take you levels such that you will be asking God questions why he did not bring you together ages ago. In short am referring to this beautiful soul young lady below, she did something for mum today,
I was left in tears and speechless, her kindness is out of this World. Give praise where it is due and this is what am doing. In the eyes of people I am saying thank you very much Mrs Kay Stern she came through when my hands both could not hold up. May the almight God reward you abundantly in all aspects of life.❤❤❤love from mum and me and Simon Clark.
One love to every women out there, single, married, widowed, young and elderly, we are all unique in our own ways and we all desire equal treatment and respect. A woman back in the day from genesis was believed to have been created from a man’s rib, God blended her with beautiful features to enhance her outlooks and be a flower of the world. He blessed every a girl individually a way when she is grown up and become a Woman, she will be able to get married and bear children.
In most African countries particularly my own country Zambia, both elderly men and women start getting a raised pulse at some point in life they will be wondering why their daughter is not introducing any one to the family especially after 25. They will hesitate for a few years, but into her 30s they will put their foot down and start chatting amongst family members or even friends in the community, all in the hope of getting their daughter hitched. Some maybe lucky and will succeed via friends, others will not mind but wait until nature take its course. Can you imagine those views are directly coming from within family members, what more to the outside world where people don’t keep up to themselves.
You will hear things or see communities gathering their own stories and gossip everywhere about a Single Woman, they will usually see her as a threat to married women and often refer to as a prostitute who can dented an image of the community. She will be called all sorts of names… say there goes a ‘whore’ who is just after other women’s husbands. They will not respect this woman regardless of her contribution in the society. A Single Women in most African Countries is termed as “PROMISCUOUS” this is so wrong ladies and gentlemen, not every woman is, I am not denying the fact that there some that may suits whatever. A woman who can not have children is also at risk of abuse by a husband and his family, a woman you are busy laughing at has endured pain you don’t know how much she has suffered with women issues, some women have had chronic healthy conditions that stood in their lives ever since they were born, probably the doctors took out her uterus so her life could saved. An African man will not tolerate all that and he will surely not settle down for such a woman, even if it was discovered later into marriage the man and his family will gang up until the marriage is dissolved. So so sad to this minute there are a lot of women going through such a trauma.
A Single woman spent several years to get her credentials together in order to present a higher Profile functioning career so she could serve her community. She fault sleepless nights in the most rewarding job…. “raising children” by herself as well as providing high quality care in her career as a Doctor, nurse, engineer, Lawyer, architecture, teacher, Bank, etc. A woman who was not blessed in all that i mentioned above had her blessings in another roles and she is still Woman.
Every woman deserves
respect married or not with children or without.
Please let us not be judgemental to single women who have not been lucky to get married or be able to have children, their life story will open floods in your eyes. Most of them are in so much torture as you read my post they are even too embarrassed to share their story, give them a handshake next time you meet one and tell them it is well.❤ let us help to build a community a more friendlier place and peace shall stand for the whole wide world..
Marriage is a beautiful thing, I remember when I was growing up my parents used to say marriage is a “holy sacred” that just simply means holy and has to be respected” but again it depends on an individual and how they see it. From generations to generation in different parts of the World, a Wedding is an important occasion celebrated mostly among families and close friends.
In my indigenous country (Zambia) a girl is free to choose her own groom as long as the couple is happy that’s what matters, parents give their blessings and help to guide them during the process and also help the couple to meet the Wedding budget. Ages ago, marriages were greatly appreciated when done within the tribes, today it is still happening although the majority has gone with diversity. I am not too sure why probably it was a cultural thing among different tribes, but with time everything has changed, you can cross borders and choose who you want to marry, it is such an awesome change has this trend has brought so much unity and love within the communities and the World at large.
Time changes everything and life goes on, love can cross borders like I mentioned earlier, love has grown at another level everywhere and it has taken us places, we have embraced love through different backgrounds, colour, religion, culture etc. Through it all and with due respect love bring people together. Love of two people from different continents can unify the nation and make this World a much more friendlier place to be.
This year 2018 is one of those special moments in the history of British Royal family, we have this great opportunity in life to celebrate with them has Prince Harry weds Ms Markle.
I and my British partner are over the moon for the couple’s upcoming Wedding, and we thought why not, lets cheer with them and share the love.
I spoke to few friends who are in interracial relationships and their love stories were awesome, maybe one day we can arrange to film our community and share more stories. I was lucky to share one of the couple’s story who are just as excited as we are for the Royal Wedding. Together we want to spread love and help to build a much more friendlier community.
This couple was no other than Mr and Mrs Roed of Denmark🍻🍾🍾🎊🎉.
Eddie is Danish and Chanda is a Zambian girl they met in 2015 via a family friend when she was on vacation in Denmark. Eddie was swept under the rainbow clouds for this beauty, and he did not waste any chance and to followed her 24/7, but you know has the saying goes, “a woman is weaker by heart when she meets her Prince Charming. Chanda was not exceptional at this stage although she was reluctant to live her parents she adore so much, her career and friends , she could not resist the temptations of a heart throbbing Prince charming of Danish soils, fast forward to 2016 they exchanged their vows on 15th September at the Registry, thereafter they graced the beautiful ceremony at St Mathews Catholic Church on 4th February, 2017 surrounded by their loved family and close friends in Zambia. The couple is now based in Denmark and they lived happily thereafter.
This is not to disrespect any hairdressers or hair shop owners out there. Am a part-time hairdresser myself but I do not do it for money. I do it for my family and close friends. At some point I used to do it for my pocket money in secondary school, then I was a teenage and did not know much about customer services. Coming from a background of black ethnicity has made me realise things were done and still done in a different way business wise.
Women in particular are the beauty of the world, every woman’s beauty is the crown of their hair. From very old days, women covered the hair before any public engagement, some as a religion belief, some just for fashion. And today the practice is the same with so much evolution taken place. Hair business has boomed in art and fashion industry, even just doing it for personal gain. Across the planet men and women have made it has a source of income, some just way of saving their few quids/dollars/Kwacha at the monthend.
In my country and just Africa in all becoming an hairdresser does not require a place in the Uni, we used to learn from friends doing it and you go from there, I started practising in my mums and sisters hair, I was interested and used to feel rewarded each time I plait my own hair and get all the nice comments on the street. Years passed with colleges and career in the way, I kind of relaxed on that journey so often times I could book an appointment at an hairdresser to do my hair.
Time changes everything now in Europe life is fast and all you do is working most of time, there isn’t chance to do certain hairstyles, hence you are forced to visit hairdressers, when in my country and in UK I regularly do that. But I have lived with this for so long now and I just thought I could share, maybe my experience has been felt by another women or different but it is happening. My aim is to find out how we can help each other in this kind of business (hair shop) and grow a much more desired Hairstylist professional business.
There is no customer services in African Hair Shops 😲😲😲, not sure why??? Time and again you walk in the shop at the right time say your appointment is booked at 08.00am they start doing your hair at 10.00am, if you get an apologie you are lucky, and in between they leave you for chats, tattle telling and meddling yet they are busy addressing you “Aunty/mum” even that is very unprofessional addressing customers with titles why not get every customer sign up a register and call them by their names “Hallo ladies” that’s sounds more proffessional surely. I have never seen that in other hair shops like the minority of European and few Asian Hair Shops. You may scorn 😲👊👊👊 me for this but it is based on my experience. I now appreciate that getting an hair done or setting up an hair business isn’t just about beautifying someone. School is a major necessity in our lives as it help us to shape us morally and to be able to interact with everyone on a professional level.
Today I want to share some important information that is sometimes looked at as sensitive, and in most cases even avoidable to talk about. Body odour is the unpleasant smell produced by bacteria on the skin that break down the acids in your sweat. Men sweat more than women do, hence they have strong body odours.
My advice on this subject is based on the information researched across various recognised websites, and skills gained via healthcare programmes I attended years back. I will also talk about certain changes in the body — hormones, food different conditions might trigger body odours. At the end of the paragraph l will give advice on self care or personal care hygiene.
Things that can make body odour worse include:
As we grow older Body odours become intense, you have heard of hormonal imbalance — certain conditions will make our hormonal levels fluctuate hysterectomy, pregnancies, menopause both in women and men.
being overweight consuming rich or spicy food and drink – such as garlic, spices and certain medical conditions. a fruity smell can sometimes be a sign of diabetes, while a bleach-like smell may indicate liver or kidney disease
Hyperhidrosis is a condition where a person sweats excessively and much more than the body needs to regulate temperature.
If you have hyperhidrosis, you may also have smelly feet (bromodosis). Smelly feet are caused by wearing shoes and socks that prevent sweat evaporating or being absorbed, which attracts bacteria.
Consult the Doctors if your sweating or body odour is causing you distress or you notice a change in your body odour or you suddenly begin to sweat much more than usual managing body odour.
by getting rid of excess skin bacteria – which are responsible for the smell – and keeping the skin in the affected area (usually the armpits) clean and dry.
Your armpits contain a large number of apocrine glands, which are responsible for producing body odour.
Keeping your armpits clean and free of bacteria will help keep odour under control.
Following the below advice can help you achieve this:
take a warm bath or shower every day – to kill the bacteria on your skin; on hot days, you may need to have a bath or shower twice a daywash your armpits thoroughly – use antibacterial soap a deodorant or an antiperspirant after bathing or shower, maintain regularly shave of armpits this allows sweat to evaporate quicker, giving bacteria less time to break it. If you can manage essential oils like lavender rose petals oils, lemon oil, lemongrass oil, tea tree oils, oragon oils add to your bath they help to rejuvenate your body keep ingredients odours under control and also help you to achieve that glow you have always wanted. Wear natural fibres, such as wool, silk or cotton – they allow your skin to breathe, which means your sweat will evaporate quicker, wear clean clothes, make sure you wash your clothes regularly, limit the amount of spicy foods you eat – such as curry or garlic, because they can make your sweat smell.
The active ingredients used in antiperspirants and deodorants differ, so you may find some more effective than others.
Deodorants work by using perfume to mask the smell of sweat. Antiperspirants contain aluminium chloride which reduces the amount of sweat produced by your body.
Use roll-on antiperspirants if you sweat heavily, as they tend to be more effective.
Here l go again, this morning I woke up feeling a bit Meh with a dull headache. I was feeling rough inside me but just ignored and decided to carry on. For some reason I didn’t check my Blood Pressure for fear of the unknown… do not try that always follow your instinct and get checked or if you do have a blood pressure machine check yourself, the feeling was what l felt sometime back when I experienced some escalating pressure on my heart. I usually get to do something that will distract my mind and of course do some green smoothies. Today I did all that but nothing ever shook it off.
I again ignored and went about my business, reading blogs that have just been published across various sites. I was just thinking through my day ahead, and positive visualisation started streaming at the back of my mind. I put down all my plans all that I got to do but the headache was unbearable, I had my phone on silent because I did not want noise hence shunned talking on the phone. I missed a lot of calls but told my heart I will call them later.
Then, something just told me.. pick up the phone there goes my little angel my nephew Kapampa Kapekele Sichula, I so dearly love this boy, he is the most distinctive, smart and intelligent boy I know. He has done big things a boy of his age can not do. I thank my sister for raising him with so much discipline ooh and her constant motherly love, I surely will not forget his teachers hats off to guys.
So the mobile rang I picked up a call and of course I said hi baby sis, no I was wrong it was my nephew, my heart went boom boom boom⚠⚠⚠for some reason his voice was calm and sweet as ever, he said aunt Christine it’s me Kapampa…I said yes son as I address him, what’s the matter is everything OK! Then he said yes again, I asked him is your mum and brother OK? he said yes… you can imagine how my heartbeat was racing. Anyway so we carried on with our conversation we chat about so many things and he said aunt christine are you surprised that I called you, I just want us to build a bondage that will be solid enough for us to stand on, no matter what the world may bring us….guys I was terrified and full of tears😭 I did not know what to say, I thought he was sent to tell me this…but no his words, my heart leaped with joy I had tears all over my face, I wanted to throw my billion of kisses and hugs across the Pacific ocean to Zambia Africa but I couldn’t.. I kissed him on the phone I hold the phone to my chest still screaming the words I love you, I love you my boy you have made my day, you have lowered my blood pressure, my headache is gone, my body feels lighter, my eyes sees more clearly, you just don’t know what you have done thank you thank you so much. Friends there is an angel in a child, let us embrace them let us find time to talk to children no matter how busy we are one minute of a conversation with a little one will change your life and heal you from an illness or broken heart. They are the living angels we have on earth. Pick up a small gift and give it to a child today, you will see the most beautiful smiles ever. Their undying sweet, gentle souls bring this world to a more friendlier and happy place to live on. Happy Day.
If you went to machona primary school or Rokana primary school in Kitwe Zambia Southern Africa back in the early 70s 80s and early 90s, my mum may have taught you, she sends her greetings so much and she would like to hear from you and who you have become over the years, the bottom line is she just wants to hear you are alive and alright. Why I decided to post this on her behalf, yesterday I rang her and we chat for hours she told me how her friend’s daughter memorial services touched her so deep such her mind threw her back in the days as a teacher….. she went on…the pain of losing a child as a mother is unbearable even as a teacher too, you want your pupils to excel and exceed abundantly not to lose their lives at a rate it is now. life has taken a different turn after loss of many young souls surely we need to correct this before young generation is wiped from this earth. she said life today is about grief every where you turn and she went quiet for a moment not knowing she was sobbing from the back ground…..she said to me I have a message for this young generation and I wish I could turn back the clock and teach again, and tell my pupils something that we teachers may have left in class, something that they did not get right….. guys I sobbed too.. to cut the story short mum said….. I wish I can hear from all my children I taught back in the days I want to give them a blessing and a message to pass on to their children and grandchildren so that tusunge imiti ikula to carry our legacy and live happily and health forever. She said to me I only want to hear they are well and alive. Then I said to her mum…..that was a powerful message mum….. I will try to find 1 or 2 of your students from either schools. That is the reason I have posted this here. My Mum’s names are Mrs Victoria Tambatamba Kapekele popularly known as bana Mpundu a retired Teacher taught from both schools mentioned above. Will be great to here from you her pupils. Thanks.
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